Being a mom is a full-time job that’s truly a labor of love, but that doesn’t mean it should be all work and no play. However, with all the hustle and bustle of homework, carpools, dinner plans, soccer lessons (and lets not forget the last minute runs to the drugstore to pick up poster boards for projects that were assigned three weeks ago), it gets understandably challenging to sometimes carve out a little time for yourself.
Yet in the midst of all that you have to do as a loving mother, making time for self-care doesn’t have to feel like another chore on you’re already-too-long list of things to do. It does, however, have to be intentional and thoughtful. Read on to find a few tips on how to love on yourself as much as you do your children.
Make Your Self-Care a Priority
A great way to demonstrate how important self care is to you is to treat like an appointment. When we need to see physicians, meet with financial planners or have other pre-scheduled events, we often put them in writing to signify their importance. Likewise, inking your “me time” onto your planner is a very intentional way to communicate with yourself and others that you intend to honor your commitments to live a life were self-care is a priority.
Let Go of the Guilt
As women, we are often socialized to put others first and make do with whatever is left over. However, practicing self care doesn’t mean you don’t care about your family. In fact, you are making sure that you give your family your best every day by making a habit of refilling your own proverbial “tank” so that you have the fuel to be the best you can be for them. Furthermore, whatever you model for your children is what you will ultimately teach them. Modeling healthy boundaries and balanced living is a great way to ensure that they understand that in life it’s totally ok to make time for yourself and still love others.
Employ Boundaries
Piggybacking on the above point, boundaries are very important when prioritizing self-care. This one may be the hardest, because we often think of boundaries as bad things although they really help to maintain order and balance. In reality though, boundaries are not about hurting others or leaving them hanging. Boundaries ensure that we know what we are responsible for, and what we are not. To practice this as a mom, consider selecting a quiet place (such as a spare room or large closet) that brings you peace. Let your family know that when you are in this place, that you can’t be bothered. While you are in there, indulge in reading, listening to your favorite podcast or finally eating that candy bar you really don’t want to share with anyone in your family. Whatever you do with the time is between you and yourself, however, being intentional about modeling the fact that no one else can have that time is what counts!
Embrace What Makes You Feel Like “You”
Spending time with your friends is another way that you can add some water back into your bucket. When you get together with them, try to do something fun and relaxing for everyone involved because they likely need the downtime as much as you do.
If a traditional “girls night out” sounds unbearable, don’t feel pressured to whip out the lipstick and stilettos. You can also keep it easy and intimate by having an at home spa day with your friends, or maybe just get a bunch of snacks and binge that one show you keep talking about watching together.
Embrace your hobbies and interests
Remember that book club that you were in during your college days, or that art class you really enjoyed? How about those moments when your grandmother taught you how to sew, crochet or knit? Remember that feeling of accomplishment and peace that it gave you while you did the task?
Those hobbies and interests are a big part of who you are, and though motherhood may make them a little less accessible in light of all your responsibilities, there’s no reason to completely abandon them. If there’s something that you enjoy and can add water to your bucket, you owe it to yourself to find a way to do it.
If you don’t have any hobbies, this is a great time to explore a few. You could join a hiking group, maybe try your hand at painting, start a collection of completely smooth rocks, or anything else that seems interesting to you. Having these little hobbies can go a long way to help settle your mind and bring you peace.
Listen mom, in your efforts to take care of others, don’t forget to take care of yourself as well. After all, you can’t pour out of an empty vessel.
So, are you ready for some me time? Don’t worry! We’ll take care of homework. Sign up for tutoring with Pink Chair Private Tutoring here.
